COMEDIAN CRAIG FERGUSON WAS SACKED BY MICK JAGGER

FORMER chat show king Craig Ferguson is using his new found Scots solitude to write a book - but hope it goes better than last time he put pen to paper.
The former Late Late Show host has revealed Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger previously asked him to pen a movie script.
But the snake-hipped front man sacked Fergie when the doc failed to come up to scratch.
Craig who will be doing his Hobo Fabulous comedy gig at The Gilded Balloon for the Edinburgh Festival this August 11 now lives in a two million pond mansion in rural Ayrshire with his wife Megan Wallace Cunningham and two children Milo, 18 and Liam, 8.
He revealed he’s in the midst of writing another book, a follow up to his just published memoir Riding The Elephant - and he’ll be hoping that it has bigger success than his work  for Mick.
He said: ”I worked for a little while with Mick Jagger.  I was on tour with him for a couple of months. We talked a lot about the screenplay he wanted me to write for him. It was an idea he had about a rockstar and roadie and they swap places. Basically it was the Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain. They exchange places. It was Mick Jagger. What was I going to go - ‘F off mate’?
Mick was introduced to Craig in 1998 during the Bridges to Babylon Tour before one of his other screenplays Saving Grace won at Sundance  festival.
He said: ”They fly me to Istanbul and I go and see Mick Jagger and I was so excited to meet him and they open the door of my suite and the first time I see him he’s a tiny little guy. I don’t know why I said it but I said oh you’re adorable. I was like, ‘Why did I say that?”
He added: “He’s a very smart guy, he’s self aware and an intelligent human being. I was nervous. I couldn’t get out my head about the  story of the candy bar and Marianne Faithful’s vagina. I didn’t feel it was appropriate to ask. I think it’s made up by editors of Rockstar biographies. She was very beautiful. Firstly it’s Marianne Faithful and then a candy bar - it’s a waste of both things.”
Unfortunately Craig’s time with the star failed to make the grade when he was firedz
He recalled: “I wrote the screen play, wrote two drafts of it and he was like ‘No, I don’t like it’ and then I got fired. He fired me but he was nice about it. He got his assistant to do it so it was cool. There was no awkward moment between us. You can’t get angry. It’s Mick Jagger.”
Craig has been settling into life back in Scotland by building a fish pond and he saga he’s happy to be away from the corporate suits of The Late Late Show.
He said of the job: “I think being a late night host was like becoming a  realtor - I didn’t aspire to it. I liked it and was proud of the show and changed the game a bit but they put you on a park bench. There is a certain amount of corporate hypocrisy that comes with it. It’s very male. You pretend to be Johnny Carson or David Letterman. I don’t know why you’d pretend to be it unless someone is paying you. It’s an acting job. I guess I pretended a bit. I really wanted the gig and I was excited by the idea it was so lifechanging.
“For the first couple of years it was great and very slowly  and like Chinese water torture it starts to make you crazy.”

MICK JAGGER, MOËT CHANDON AND MORE...IN SCOTLAND

MICK Jagger might have emerged from Edinburgh’s Balmoral Hotel with the rest of the band, but he didn’t actually stay there.
Thousands of people turned out to watch the wrinkly rockers as they came out of the hotel ahead of their gig in Murrayfield Stadium.
But Mick pulled a fast one. He actually stayed at the prestigious Prestonfield house the night before the gig and the day after with his ballerina girlfriend Melanie Hamrick.
The two spent some quality time together at the hotel while oblivious guests at a Chas charity bash danced away to music at Friday night event The Rocking Horse Ball held in the grounds.
Mick enjoyed a morning jog around the surrounding grounds and climb up the nearby Pentlands where he met a local cow (the four legged kind) on Saturday before heading into town early to meet with the rest of his group.
He managed to sneak into the hotel via a side door at the station so it looked like he was with the rest of the band.
After the gig he returned to Prestonfield for another night of chill before flying off on Sunday.



HAIRCUT One Hundred Star Nick Heyward
revealed he’d initially come to Glasgow years ago to meet Claire Grogan after becoming besotted with her in Gregor’s Girl - but met his wife instead.
The two girls went to school together but Nick ended up falling for Glasgow born Marion Killeen who shared a similar birthday.
He said: “I just wanted to marry Claire. Everybody did at the time. You saw Gregory’s Girl and thought yeah. We’ve since got to know one another pretty well and have talked about it. I thought she wasn’t into me at all and she said ‘no I wasn’t’.
Nick who was in Glasgow with his son who is now his sound engineer was appearing on STV’s Live At Five when we bumped into one another.
As I went over the stories of the week I joked with him that I was due to have my Haircut 100 the next day at Taylor Ferguson’s salon.

Taylor Ferguson meantime told me the latest look for this season is ‘No Style’.
He said: “All you do is give people a shape to suit their lifestyle. It’s a natural look.”
Taylor who has coiffed the hair of everyone from Gazza to Neil Lennon and Alan Rough in between, recently appeared on a show about the 78 World Cup. His was the elected hairdressing team to look after their hair - a selection of mullets and perms at the time.
Taylor revealed he used to get perm lotions in by the pallette. He reckons they won’t ever come back because they are too hard to maintain.


I’ve always loved watching The Real Hustle so it was great to meet one of the principal players R  Paul Wilson last week.
He was the director behind new Film Isolani which enlisted Celtic wag Lisa Hague as producer.
Paul who is usually known for his confidence in the show admitted he was nervous as I met him in the foyer of the GFT.
He said: “It does feel good but obviously these things are very worrying.”
He also reckons Lisa is a Real Hustler and explained: “It was fantastic working with Lisa who managed to get hold of things for the film. I don’t know how she got it and I’ve learned not to ask.”
I’d met Paul before at a magic festival in Edinburgh where he taught me some of the oldest tricks of the trade and he told me he heads back there every week.
He said: “I’m based in Glasgow now and love it here. Edinburgh is only an hour away so I’m through all the time.”

I had a very quick chat with Eileen Longmuir, wife of Original Bay City Roller Alan this week.
Alan who I’ve had the pleasure of meeting lots of times, has been very ill in Mexico and was diagnosed with a virus that has been attacking his major organs.
Eileen who has been by his side throughout has been keeping in touch to let me know his progress.
She had planned to try to fly him back to the U.K. for treatment if his condition stabilised but that has not yet happened.
Like anyone who has met him, I’m hopeful that he will have the strength to recover from this. Fellow Roller Woody returned from Japan to the news and has also sent him a heartfelt message for his recovery.
Les McKeown who will soon play Scotfest in Edinburgh is also hoping he will be able to join him at future gigs.

FEAST FOR THE BEAST
MOET Chandon kicked off their big summer party by celebrating their Moet Grand Toast at Corinthian Club.
The champagne house were marking 275 years since Claude Moet brought his bubbles to the party.
All my blogger pals including Everyday Man, Middle Aged Man, ForeverYoursBetty and A Model Moment were out in force for the rooftop celebrations.
Moet’s representatives Izzy Cameron and Gemma Leisgang proved to be hostesses with the mistresses alongside Vine PR’s Mary McGowne.
Later in the day, as the bubbles were poured down a pyramid of glasses, STVs Jennifer Reoch and I ended up speaking French with a group of ladies who were visiting the city from Paris.
They were more than impressed that Moet had chosen Glasgow for their big celebration.
Normally I drive after an event but this time round I had one glass too many so I was picked up in style - by my friend white van man.

Charity worker and performer Bubbles the Clown went wild at Blairdrummond Safari Park on Sunday.
Bubbles aka David Forsyth joined 250 kids from the Les Hoey Dreammaker Foundation at the park to sing and play games.
He told me he’s off of New York this week to perform his routine at Coney Island on June 17. I’m not sure if they’ll get his catchphrase - It’s fur the weans.
Meantime the park was full of cheeky monkeys with one wee primate showing off a little too much of himself on top of one of the cars...




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