OOMPA LOOMPA KIRSTY PATERSON’S ONLY FANS REQUEST

SCOTS viral sad Oompa Loompa Kirsty Paterson has been inundated by requests to join Only Fans - wearing her now famous Wonka outfit. 

Kirsty, who became a global star after Glasgow’s disastrous Willy’s Chocolate Experience hit the headlines a year ago, revealed she’s become a fantasy figure amongst anime fans. 

She admitted: “I’ve been sent so many hand drawn pictures of me as an erotic anime figure and I’ve had loads of requests to join Only Fans.  People like the idea of me being naked apart from my green wig and I’ve had offers from some who want me to draw me live, as well as play with chocolate online. Others have foot fetishes and want me to march around like an Oompa Loompa.  It’s so funny but it’s not something I’m keen to pursue.”

The Bearsden talent admitted she’s had ‘the worst and best year of her life’ on the twelve month anniversary of the event. 

Billed as a “celebration of chocolate in all its delightful forms”, it left children in tears and was abruptly cancelled as police were called due to its ‘rip off’ prices, lack of props and dire AI script. 

Kirsty became ‘a viral meme’ in an unflattering green wig and brown outfit as she prepared jelly beans in what was described online as a ‘meth lab’. 

She was hunted down by Hollywood producers to star in her own sell out show at The Edinburgh Fringe, as well as events across LA and New York. 

Her meme also inspired celebrities including Chrissy Teigen, appearances on The Last Leg, Good Morning Britain, Studio 54 in New York, billboards in Times Square and a portrait in GOMA. 

As she celebrated her first anniversary with friends and special Oompa Calipso cocktails at Glasgow’s Tropical Cafe, the yoga instructor and fire eater turned actress admitted: “This has been a rollercoaster. The worst time of my life has also turned into the best time. I’ve achieved more in the last year than I could ever imagine in a lifetime but I’ve only just started processing it now.”

She added: “There has been a lot of self growth and I’ve got even bigger stuff coming out.”

She says she went through the full gamut of emotions as the story unwound. 

She said: “Initially it was really not great for everyone involved. People paid a lot of money and we never got fully paid. 

But I had opportunities and worked really hard to make it into something better.”

Event organiser William Coull was exposed as a sex pest, and Kirsty admitted: “I found it difficult when people put me in the same line as the organiser because my story is completely different. I met him once and feel a lot of empathy for anyone involved but I don’t really want anything to do with someone like that.”

As she returned from filming Stateside, a fire also devastated her family home.

She added: “The house fire tore my world apart. Everything I invested in, like cameras, was wrecked. I had no clothes and lived in a hotel for two months. It was very hard getting my life back on track. Luckily enough, the insurance paid out although we are still not back home.”

 She said: “The one thing that kept me going is making something of myself. I’m so proud I turned something so bad into something life changing. I can’t wait to show people my documentary of the real Kirsty Paterson and just make people smile again.”

Kirsty is currently wrapping documentary Pure Imagination from Emmy winning director Todd Bieber and his company Goodfire Productions. 

She said: “The documentary is positive but there’s also a lot of ups and downs. I think it will relate to people who have been through things. It is emotional and impactful. It’s going to go big places so we are very lucky.”

WILLY WONKA STARS OVERCOME COVID CHAOS IN EDINBURGH

Beverley Lyons 
An Edinburgh Willy Wonka production starring viral Oompa Loompa Kirsty Paterson and original Veruca Salt Julie Dawn Cole is back on track - after almost half the cast were hit by covid. 
And now the two global stars have met for the first time after four of the cast were left bed bound at the start of the production run at the Fringe. 
Willy’s Candy Spectacular: A Musical Parody had its premiere at Edinburgh Fringe after US producer Richard Kraft decided to make a musical about the story of Glasgow born Kirsty and the mammoth failure of Glasgow’s Willy Wonka experience.
Actor Julie, who was just 13 when she starred in the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, flew in to join Kirsty as narrator of the fun show at the Pleasance King Dome.
However disaster struck when Covid meant the production, which even has scratch and sniff cards,  had to rely on stand ins 
after Kirsty and some of the other actors were unable to perform as a result of catching Covid. 
Julie, now 65, and a grandmother who came out of retirement to join in the fun at the Fringe show explained: “The first one who went down with Covid was Cassie, then Shelley then Kirsty then one of our directors. 
The show relies on singers and without it, if you’ve got Covid you can’t do this show.”
Kirsty added: “Two of our main singers got it and I got it. It was going around but we are all recovered now thank goodness.”
Julie who has taken Kirsty under her wing since initially Zoom calling her from the States said: “I’m teaching her everything I know. I’ve had a very lucky career and to anyone - if a door opens go through it -and hope it’s not a toilet.”
And Kirsty added: “I didn’t think my life would end up like this five months ago so I’m just rolling with it. I get to narrate with Julie Dawn Cole which is amazing. She’s showing me the ropes. I genuinely couldn’t have done this without Julie. She was so great before we met, zooming from Los Angeles.”
Kirsty also said she couldn’t believe she has a variety of actors playing her on stage. 
She laughed: “When Richard asked me to do this I thought I’d get a line or two but when I found it was all based on me with characters called Kirsty Paterson one and Kirsty Paterson two, I thought it was amazing. We are praying it does go to bigger places but we don’t know what is going to happen. It’s been a rollercoaster and I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. There’s so much more to this show. They could make a film out of this too.”
Julie added: “Richard is a persuasive man. I thought ‘This will be easy. I’ll be reading off cue cards and going to see other shows at the Fringe but I do a bit more than that. I’ve had an absolute ball doing it. It’s been one of the best things I’ve done with my life since Willy Wonka,  seeing everybody smile and being part of this and the joy, the music is wonderful, the buzz. Who knows what happens next? There’s no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going.”

ITS CHOCOLATE COVERED IN ANYTHING DAY AND GLASGOW IS CEELBRATING

WE’VE heard a lot about unusual food days but we absolutely love the idea of Chocolate Covered In Anything  day which takes place this Monday. 
After all, in this season of festive indulgence, what better excuse than to have to dip into some of the sweet stuff as a matter of national duty. 
Indeed Scots admit to eating sweeties at least once a day, compared with just 30 percent of their counterparts in England and Wales - no wonder the average annual per capita consumption of chocolate bars is estimated at 200. Supermarket chain Marks and Spencer also admit its sweeties sell in far greater numbers north of the border.

Here’s some other fascinating chocolate facts to celebrate the big day. 

1. Scotland became a nation of chocolate lovers when sugar cane or white gold as it was known came over from the Caribbean. There was so much sugar coming down the Clyde  that the first town you came to on the river, Greenock, was nicknamed Sugaropolis. 

2.  Dark chocolate (with 70 to 85 percent cocoa content), contains different nutrients. In 100 grams of dark chocolate, you receive almost 100 percent of the daily recommended intake of manganese, nearly 90 percent of necessary copper intake, and about 67 percent of your needed iron intake.

3. Scotland boasts a number of independent chocolatiers with Finlay MacDonald being one of the youngest. Finlay established Chocolates of Glenshiel in 2016 in his Highland kitchen by Loch Duich. His chocolates are flavoured with Talisker whisky, Misty Isle gin and sea salt – all from the nearby Isle of Skye, heather honey and raspberries from Blairgowrie and marmalade from Dundee.

4. The Spanish Conquistador Don Hernán Cortés first realised the  commercial value of cocoa beans which he took to Spain in 1528. Very gradually, the custom of drinking the chocolatespread across Europe, reaching England in the 1650s.

5. Gluten free Indian restaurant Dakhin in Glasgow’s Merchant City is celebrating this Monday’s occasion with its specially created Chocolate Dosa. The South Indian crepe has been specially coated with chocolate with a rich chocolate and coconut filling and will be available for £4.95 on the day. It’s similar to a crepe without the wheat flour.

6. The creation of the first modern chocolate bar is credited to Joseph Fry, who in 1847 discovered that he could make a moldable chocolate paste by adding melted cacao butter back into Dutch cocoa. By 1868, a company called Cadbury was marketing boxes of chocolate candies in England.

7. Studies have shown that eating dark chocolate has the same effect on the brain as falling in love, thanks to a release of the chemical phenylalanine. Maybe that’s why us Scots will do crazy things to get our hands on a chocolate bar. 

8. Some studies suggest that colder, dark climates—during midwinter, in Scotland, the sun might rise for barely seven hours per day—the human body craves more sugary foods to offset Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD.

9. Drink it or eat, melt it or freeze it, have it bitter or have it sweet. Chocolate is such an exciting ingredient to include in dishes and can add a sweetness or bitterness to an otherwise acidic or spicy meal. It can even  complement nicely the salty notes of crisps.
There’s plenty of room for creativity on National Chocolate Covered Anything Day.
This is a sponsored post by Dakhin restaurant in Glasgow.